Author On the Bookcase: Carrie Adams, author of The Stepmother
Marriage and the new British political alliance? What?
Carrie Adams, author of The Stepmother and The Godmother, writes about the institution of marriages, as emphasized in both of her books, and how it relates to the new political marriage between the new Prime Minister & Deputy Prime Minister of England. Carrie lives in London and her novel, The Godmother, is being adapted for film.
Welcome, Carrie, to On the Bookcase and thanks for chatting!
We have just come to the end of a fascinating few weeks in the world of politics in the United Kingdom and now have a new Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister from two different political parties who only a few days ago were at loggerheads with one another. The turnaround has been inspiring to watch.
During the election campaign, much onus was put on the context of family, supporting families, and helping families stay together. It is proof of how difficult it is to maintain a happy union that it is as high on the political agenda as Defence. Little did they know, they would be forming a ‘marriage’ of their own.
As anyone in a long-term relationship knows, marriage is tough and it affects us all, whether we’re single and dream of it, single and rebel it, in it, escaping it, or products of some variation of it. All these aspects fascinate me and what I write about in The Godmother and The Stepmother, particularly the expectations surrounding it.
I believe marriage is an art form which, when mastered, can teach us a great deal about our species. Cynical people often say marriage, like the printed word, is unsustainable, finished business.This new political union is already being condemned by some, but I choose to think another way. Human beings are selfish, it’s how we survived long enough to evolve into the miraculous creatures we are, but it is hard to be married to a selfish person, it is hard to be the child of a selfish parent, and actually, it’s hard being selfish. It’s lonely and isolating and doesn’t make for a very happy soul. Unhappy people fill up with resentment, blame and anger, so it is no surprise then that so many families fall apart.
However, I believe the arc of evolution continues. Now, what we need to do to survive is actually stop surviving and start living. In other words, stop thinking about ourselves and start thinking about others. Every single other because either everyone matters, or no one does. It’s a big statement but it starts small, really small - in a ‘marriage’ of two. If we can learn to live with mutual respect, kindness and compassion for our own partners, then we can create respectful, kind, compassionate offspring. All we have to do after that is extrapolate. A street, a town, a government, a country, a world. No wonder marriage is so political, if we can master that art, then maybe the politicians wouldn’t have to worry so much about Defence any more. So basically, if I am nice to my husband, I can save the world. That is the sort of incentive I can aspire to and what makes the infuriating habit of leaving his sock drawer open blessedly irrelevant.
What inspiring thoughts, Carrie! "Marriage is an 'art form.' " Sometimes, I think, marriage feels like a finger painting -- all the ideas, moods, and feelings spread around with no lines drawn. Nebulous, but still one painting.
What do you think! Please comment.